Citywide Blog

On a recent Friday night, the basement of the First Unitarian Church rang out not with song or worship, but with the loud slaps that announce a body landing hard on the mat of a wrestling ring. Labor of Love, a Philly-based independent professional wrestling promotion, brought the region's most battle-hardened grapplers (plus a few from farther afield) to the city's preeminent temple of DIY, and the Citywide was there to bear witness. The event was called "Love/Hate", and there was plenty of both on display throughout the night. The audience was treated to seven matches that exhibited the best, worst, and weirdest of human nature in gladiatorial combat.

The show kicked off with a six-man tag match* between Counter Strike and Mach10 and Darien Hardway and The Lost Boys. Hardway and the Boys pulled off a decisive victory despite spending most of their in-ring minutes flexing at the audience. Next was a match that Wrestling Observer will surely refer to as "The Zero Percent Body Fat Classic," as hometown hero Cheeseburger took on Detroit's Leon Ruffin. The crowd was on Cheeseburger's side at the start, but Ruff really put all 152 pounds of himself into that match. He did Motor City proud, but it wasn't enough to defeat Cheeseburger. The last time the Citywide saw Cheeseburger wrestle, he was getting shut in a coffin by the demonic luchador* Mil Muertes, so it was great to see him get the win.

This reporter covered her husband's eyes for the bodacious return of Allie Katch, from "the whole damn state of Texas," as she took on Total Nonstop Action Wrestling's Harley Hudson. The wiry Hudson made frequent use of her obnoxious British shriek and ended up defeating Katch, which was a damn shame as it was her first match back at Labor of Love since breaking her leg last year. But we have a feeling we haven't seen the last of Katch - she's got "Champ" written all over her.

Now, it's an unfortunate truth that not even the professional wrestling industry is unsullied by political corruption. The next match, a six-man tag between the Citywide Street Gang (great name) and Thiccc Daddy (better name?) and The Rep, was preceded by the appearance of Pennsylvania Sports Commission Rep Wink Vavasseur, who seems to have a personal vendetta against the Street Gang boys. Somebody tell that guy to cut his ponytail! Anyway, this match fucked. The Citywide Street Gang came out on top, but an enraged Vavasseur abused his authority to ban them from competing in Labor of Love going forward. Asked about Vavasseur's ruling later, a representative of Labor of Love said, "(Vavasseur) has a vengeful attitude against wrestling. He became a Commissioner to make it hard on wrestling promotions like ours...he's basically trying to shut us down in every direction." You hate to see it.

If you have experienced any incongruity in the space-time continuum since Friday night, it's probably because of the events of the next match, which pitted Dr. Ethan Wilde, "The Large Language Model," against Mr. Ooh La La. Wilde trapped the gray-haired Mr. Ooh La La inside a homemade time machine (although not before whipping a croissant into the crowd at an unbelievable velocity). Inside the time machine, Mr. Ooh La La later told the Citywide, "I was literally able to see my life before my very eyes! It was okay, kid." Imagine Wilde and the audience's shock when a YOUNGER version of Mr Ooh La La emerged from the machine and beat Wilde's ass! Then he returned to the time machine and got present-day Mr Ooh La La out of it. The repercussions of TWO Mr. Ooh La Las at large have yet to be determined.

There is a term in professional wrestling circles, "marking out," that basically means "to lose one's shit." When the ominous strains of the Death Riders* theme music were heard in the FU Church basement, the whole crowd (including this reporter) totally marked out. To put Marina Shafir and Wheeler Yuta's appearance on Saturday into perspective for the non-wrestling fan: It was kind of like if you went to a show at Cousin Danny's and The Cure were on the bill. They were fighting The Outfielders, the city's most charismatic and least tall tag team, composed of Shea McCoy and Weber Hatfield. The Outfielders put up a fantastic fight. Yuta dropkicked McCoy in the face and busted her nose open so badly that a friend of this reporter had to go sit down for a minute and collect himself. McCoy valiantly fought on, her face crusted in dried blood, and eventually got the biggest win of the night by snatching Yuta's beanie to reveal his freshly shaved head (long story*). Unfortunately Shafir locked Hatfield in the Mother's Milk choke*, which won the match for the Death Riders. But McCoy was undeterred, telling the Citywide "It's hard taking the loss, but I think we put up a good fight, so I'm not mad about it. We'll get them next time." When asked about stealing Yuta's hat, McCoy told us "It felt so good. Honestly, I'm okay taking the loss as long as everybody got to look at (Yuta's) big shiny beautiful head."

The main event was a three-way match for the Citywide Championship, the highest honor that Labor of Love can bestow. The reigning champ was Matt Mako, a stone cold killer if we've ever seen one. His challengers were the mercurial Mecca and this reporter's personal favorite, Big Callux, who is one enormous dude. This match pushed the competitors to their limits. Also, the ceiling was very low and they kept doing dives off the top rope which was extremely scary. Mecca took a gnarly bump out of the ring and onto the floor, but he just kept on fighting - a true contender. Both Mako and Mecca had trouble slowing down Big Callux, but eventually Mako was able to get Callux in an arm bar* and the big guy tapped out. Mako's victory celebration was cut short by the reappearance of Shafir, who stalked into the ring and got up in his face. Mako later told the Citywide, "It would seem that Marina wants a shot at the Citywide Championship, so the powers that be at Labor of Love are going to have to look into that." He added, "One of my goals when I started wrestling was to be the king of Philadelphia independent wrestling and I think the Citywide Championship proves it; it's the most prestigious title in the city right now, if not the region. Labor of Love's only on the up-and-up and I'm leading the way." We also had a brief exchange with the bald-headed and evil Wheeler Yuta, who told the Citywide that he would "Probably not, but maybe," start attending services at the First Unitarian Church, although it is more likely that he will be back for a concert instead.

While we can't agree with Mako's assertion that he is the "king" of Philadelphia indy wrestling (#nokings), it's undeniable that Labor of Love is putting on some quality shows. As their rep told us, "The talent we have always shows out. We try to showcase the best card possible, we try to give every member of the audience something different because we believe wrestling is for everyone." We think "Wrestling is for everyone" is a pretty damn good slogan. If you'd like to check out a show for yourself, and you should, Labor of Love have announced their next event, "Trust the Process," for Friday, March 27th.

*a match style where wrestlers fight in teams. They take turns wrestling one-on-one and "tag" each other to swap out. A six-man tag has two teams of three.

*usually a professional wrestler from Mexico, although not always. Luchadors wear masks to conceal their identities.

*An evil gang of wrestlers who primarily operate in All Elite Wrestling (AEW).

*Yuta and Shafir recently competed in a televised "hair versus hair" tag match against AEW's Orange Cassidy and "Timeless" Toni Storm, where the person who got pinned had to shave their head. Yuta got pinned. Look, you should just watch AEW.

*submission hold

*submission hold